I loved N at 5 years old, but at 6 he’s coming into his own and really is a loving little boy. My brother was the same as a boy, really loving and caring with our mum, whereas I always held myself at a bit of a distance, hating hugs and kisses.
But N is one of those caring boys. His generosity with hugs and kisses probably goes further than it should. Definitely at school with teachers and TAs, with his teacher last year saying that he was always having to bring him round to the side when N wanted to hug him. N still gets excited about seeing the TAs and teachers although I’m sure that will decrease as he gets older. Probably by next school year.
He loves to see his cousins – he and the 8 year old cousin are always giving each other a hug when they see each other. In between arguing what game they’re going to play. And both aunts are always treated to a big cuddle, one in the playground at pick up time. I wonder sometimes what other parents think, whether they realise she’s a family member or just a random mum he always wants to hug. He’ll also give the nursery staff at after school club hugs when he leaves. There’s no worries about having to force him to hug people when saying thank you. If it’s someone he knows well and likes, he’ll be volunteering a hug.
It mostly seems to be a boy thing from what I’ve seen, with some of his other friends doing the same after school. Although there are a couple of girls he’ll also hug. One his friend from across the road – mostly because they’re being boisterous and just hugging for the hell of it. And the other a reception friend who does tennis. A lot of them went through a dog role playing game at school, where some were owners and others dogs. And this little girl he calls ‘doggy’ and sometimes they hug at tennis. Although mostly they just stand next to each other and N rubs her head as though she’s a dog. It’s very funny if a little odd. But hey, imaginations are a great thing as long as they’re all fine with it.
They all seem to muck in together, and there’s an awful lot of hugging going on across the various friendship groups at tennis. It’s like a mutual appreciation society. Very amusing to watch.
I mentioned before in my paper outline activity post about N drawing a big heart on himself and saying it was because he loves a lot of things. It’s sweet that he understands that loving something isn’t something to be introverted about, that he can share what he likes.
At home he’s very forthcoming with his hugs and kisses. He still likes to snuggle up and sit on the sofa watching tv with his dad. Or he wants to squash himself into my chair with me to watch a film or do something on the laptop with me.
But most of all he’s very generous with his kisses. He’s very proud that he gives dry kisses, no licky kisses or slobbery wet ones like he used to as a 2 year old. He’ll chase the OH around because the OH thinks it’s weird having all the kisses with his child. At first N was a bit upset because daddy wouldn’t let him kiss him. I couldn’t really explain why, because it’s not wrong when your child wants to give you a kiss and show his love for his parents. Daddy’s weird and doesn’t like kisses! Hmmm. Now N just sees it as a game and teases him with kisses instead.
With me, N will sometimes come over and give me a kiss on my forehead or cheek if I’m sitting down somewhere. But at bedtime he requests ‘hug, kiss on the lips, hug’. It’s rare he doesn’t ask. I’m going to make the most of him wanting to hand out hugs and kisses before he gets too embarrassed about doing it.
And I’ll never tire of him wanting to hold my hand when we’re out and about too.
It turns out that the mother and son relationship is really important in teaching them to love and have good relationships in future. So I’m all for making sure N knows that showing his love to people who want or need it is a good thing.
Are your children demonstrative with their hugs and kisses? Or are they more restrained? How old were they when they stopped wanting them?
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