Tips on coming out with your blog

Since starting blogging, I’ve been surprised at how many people haven’t told friends and family about their blogs. It never occurred to me not to make mine public even though I set it up for me, and then N to be able to look back on when he’s older.

I happily set mine live, told my mum I was doing it and that was it. The OH isn’t interested – he thinks it’s a waste of time. Otherwise as long as he doesn’t appear on it and I’m careful about N being on there, he’s not worried.  He’s never read a blog, is never likely to and has no idea the details about my blog.  Apart from review items turning up. He gets annoyed about more ‘junk’ arriving.

But my mum was my biggest champion, and most frequent reader, even though we only lived a few miles away and saw her lots. It meant she could keep up with what we were up to, and she also told all her friends about it. If your family are proud of your blog and what you’ve achieved, then it does help keep you enthused.

Going public with your blog- Bubbablue and me

I feel for bloggers who don’t have supportive families or who feel like they need to keep their blogs away from family and friends.  When family put a downer on it, and a blogger feels they have to keep their blogs private, I think it’s a shame.

Obviously there are some people who due to their jobs need to stay anonymous, or have sensitive topics and that makes sense. In my current job we have to get any second job, volunteering or public hobby approved, even if we were doing it before starting at the company – a bit worrying considering I was quite clear on my cv that I blogged. But it does mean there’s obviously certain things I wouldn’t blog about  -whether family or otherwise.

If you’re discussing anything regarding relationships or family, there’s always going to have to be a level of regard to ensure you’re not going to hurt someone by referring to an obvious situation. But I wouldn’t want someone else in my family telling me what I couldn’t blog about if it didn’t talk about them.

Family disinterest or annoyance at a blog does make it hard for a blogger. The OH doesn’t oppose the blog, but he never wants to be on it or social media, and if we’re offered a family day out or review opportunity he wouldn’t take part.  If he did (e.g on a holiday), he’d refuse to be in any photos, and would moan about the number of photos I was taking. Which doesn’t work for reviews. But he wouldn’t dream of telling me not to write my blog like some family members do to other bloggers.

When I think about my readers, it feels nuts that I wouldn’t have made my blog public. My readers are basically other mums like me: 30-40 year old mums (and a bit either side), most working in some way, who like getting out and about with their children. So that’s the majority of my friends.  Likewise, my dance blog is for people who love to dance (specifically modern jive/ceroc) so of course my core audience will include my dancing friends.  It means they’ll like (if not comment) and probably via Facebook. They know me, will enjoy reading,  and hopefully will therefore like and share my blog with their similar friends too.

If friends and family know you blog they can support you too.  They will likely be interesting.  Mine are usually intrigued by blogging and the whole community thing. But blogging also brings additional benefits and skills like website design/maintenance, marketing, promotion, content and copy writing, social media f you shout and networking. Skills that can be shared and can increase your value in the workplace if you shout about those skills. My work have a social media manager, but I’m the one asked for advice about that team.

Some people do share their blogs with family and friends and get negative reponses. Defensiveness, name calling and anger towards them and their blogs. This makes me sad because as long as a blog isn’t naming names, attacking others, then why should others be coming down on someone’s enjoyment or blogging? Or them trying to feel more like they were before having children. But it happens.

So if you want to go public but don’t know how or aren’t sure, here’s some tips:

Tips on coming out with your blog

  1. Get family and friends who’ll be directly mentioned, on side and agreeing that they’re happy to be talked about and what the boundaries are
  2. Write what you want, but think about how others will be implicated. Could it be awkward for their children.
  3. Launch your blog quietly. Just write and don’t worry about getting the reach and promotion from the start. If you work up to people knowing about it, it’ll be easier to get used to you being out there.
  4. Share your posts with people you definitely want to see it who’ll be advocates.
  5. Mention it to people you know who are your typical reader/audience.
  6. Don’t get het up about negative feedback. If you don’t want to rock the boat then change the relevant post that’s upset people, or make sure you have your rationale for why you wrote the piece.
  7. Get a thicker skin. If friends and family moan, there may be comments from strangers too, and not everyone’s comments are nice (although I have to say in 5.5 years of blogging I’ve not yet had nastiness.

Have you ever written anonymously? Are your freinds and family supportive about your blog?

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31 thoughts on “Tips on coming out with your blog

  1. I have only just started talking about it, I have a couple of close friends which know and my mum but thats it. But its becoming increasingly obvious and so I need to be upfront. I stay away from the majority of personal issues. Coming out to my boss was the hardest! lol #Sharingthebloglove

  2. This is interesting – it took me a while to share my blog with people in real life and I had one or two negative comments! I felt sensitive about it then but I couldn’t care less now.
    #SharingTheBlogLove

  3. My oh likes my blog and encourages me so much to do as much as i can with it (he does youtube though so he understands). My friends and family mostly read my blog but I don’t write it for them, I write it for parents in general but mine is more child development focused. I guess I am one of the lucky ones #sharingthebloglove

  4. Some people just don’t get it do they?! My husband didn’t until recently. He read a post and I think he was quite shocked! Since then he’s been hugely supportive. #sharingthebloglove

  5. Like you I’ve been pretty open about my blog from the offset. A lot of people don’t get it but I think there’s certain things only other bloggers will get. I’m lucky that my OH and my family support me otherwise I don’t think anyone would read my posts!!

    Your doing an amazing job #sharingthebloglove

  6. Hi, I only told my close family about my blog and now still only a few friends know about it. I will probably keep it quiet that I blog #SharingTheBlogLove

  7. Firstly, well done for being featured blogger on sharing the blog love!
    This post really hit home with me as I am trying to keep as anonymous as possible at the moment due to work (I’m a teacher and sharing online can be tricky) but also because, at first my children didn’t want to have their names or photos on my blog. I have respected that and I always ask permission before I post. Interestingly my extended family have been quite prickly about my blog. One even said I was showing off as I live in an old house!( Not sure about that as it’s v v drafty, a bit crumbling in places and frankly crap in others!) But I’ve decided to go with the flow and told them not to read it! That shut them up! #sharingtheblogllove

  8. Ridiculously, this post made me really sad because I am desperate to let people know that I blog, but, it’s a total secret. My hubby knows and is really supportive. But other than that, I’ve kept it a secret. I tried to explain it to 2 other people who are very close to me, but neither of them “got it” and basically implied that I was wasting my time. I was crushed, and haven’t been brave enough to mention it to anyone else since. #sharingthebloglove

    1. Ah I feel for you. I think with blogging (and social media) we need to toughen up and try and forget about the negative feedback. People I know don’t understand it – they range from people who like reading, to those who think it’s a waste of time to those think it’s really interesting as a hobby. Luckily I’ve never had anyone come out and say anything nasty. But if you believe in your blog, then prove them wrong. You do it for you, and you needn’t publically announce it but just drip feed information to people who ask.

    1. I think that’s quite normal. It’s often family members who don’t get it, but then much of the time it’s like a public scrapbook so shouldn’t be that strange.

  9. Luckily both hubby and I blog together so we don’t have any issues, even though her dies leave all the social media side to me. Some great pointers to promote more..as we’ve just gone self hosted we need all the help we can get! #sharingthebloglove

    1. That definitely makes it easier both being involved. I think you’ll probably find self hosting helps with promotion straight away. I found brands and pr found me straight away oddly, even though I still wasn’t doing much promotion.

  10. I spoke to my mum and my SIL before I went live and they gave me their support and permission to talk about them and share photos of my niece etc. But I don’t openly talk about it. A lot of my close friends know about it. But I am not prepared for a time when school mums might find out. I hope it never happens, but I guess it will at some point. My husband is very supportive which helps a lot. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  11. Hey Emma, I liked how you pointed out that it’s important to deal with negative comments also instead of just ignoring them. You have to keep a good relationship with all your readers, whatever their personal opinion is.

  12. My family are supportive but some of my friends sometimes less so. I just think people who don’t blog don’t get it sometimes. And they’re really not as invested in it as I thought they would be haha! Sometimes I wonder how good friends they actually are, but in reality I know they’re all busy and have their own lives going on. Some do share things for me on Facebook occasionally, but not many. I sometimes wonder if I should have been anonymous as I perhaps could write even more openly.. sometimes I’m scared what people will think! x #TheListLinky

  13. This was a really tough one for me – I blogged for ages in secret from most of my family and friends. My husband and my best friend knew, but other than that I kept it private. I resisted setting up a facebook page for my blog on that basis, as I knew when I did it wouldn’t be as easy to keep it private anymore, and sure enough, that’s when it all came out. Mostly they’ve been supportive, although I’m not sure many of them are regular readers. I am very careful not to write anything that might be hurtful on my blog though – a relative also writes a blog, where she writes very emotional posts about many different family members and their fallings out with her. Although she doesn’t mention them by name, it’s always clear who she’s talking about, and has upset lots of people over the years. It’s a difficult one to get the balance right I guess! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Yes, I do think it means you need to be more careful of what is said. Not just family, but also if you work and for prospective/current employers. I know a couple of my friends read, but not regularly, just when something catches their eye.

  14. This is handy – I’ve told my mum but she’s totally disinterested. I haven’t really announced it, but I think most people know. It’s tough putting yourself out there though #thelistlinky

  15. My mum and dad struggle to use a mobile phone and still can’t email, so I’ve shared poems with them but to talk about blogging is pointless. #SharingTheBlogLove

  16. I only tell people if it comes up in conversation. Not because i’m embarrassed but because i quite like it that not everyone i know reads it. My hubby thinks it’s a waste of time too because he just doesn’t get it. #thelinkylist

  17. I’m completely anonymous at the moment. Mainly because we didn’t want anyone to know we were trying for a baby. But now that I’ve miscarried, lots of people know. I’m so not sure what I want to do. My mum has been worried about me “bottling up” things (I’ve had dark times before) but my writing is my outlet. I write without thought for who is reading to get everything out. Then I review what’s there and decide whether it’s too “raw” or tweak it if it needs it. Then I hit publish. And you know… it helps.

  18. Mine’s not a secret, but I don’t think many of my close family or friends read it, which I find strange because I’d read theirs if they had one! My Grandad is a member of my newsletter though so gets all my blog posts! Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but he commented I was a good writer recently, so I must not have penned anything too dodgy yet! #thelistlinky

  19. Great post lovely, mine isn’t private but I don’t advertise the fact I have a blog so a lot of people don’t know that I have one. I feel that I can write more freely this way without worrying about what the neighbours think etc. I do however have the most supportive husband. #sharingthebloglove

    1. That makes a lot of sense. It’s nice not to have to worry about what you’re writing about. Although it’s always a surprise when someone says they’ve been reading it.

  20. Most of my friends and family are supportive but not necessarily that hugely interested. They do occasionally check the posts. My mum seems to hate my blog and considers it a waste of time but she is the only person with negative views about it. Mostly people are very supportive.

    I didn’t “come out” until very late btw – I think I came out when my auntie found my blog on Google searching for something ha ha and noticed it was written by me.

  21. I love this! I for one just went for it and posted it all up on my facebook. I created my blog for my family and myself to remember the good, bad and the ugly haha. I’m not too bothered about views/visitors right now, but I know the majority of traffic I get comes from my friends and family. I have family dotted about, so it’s a great way to keep them in the loop of what we’ve been up to! It’s a shame your OH isn’t interested, but I can understand the want to stay away from social media and other people knowing their business etc!
    Becky x #SharingTheBlogLove

    1. Me too at the start, before I had a page. If I still shared it I’d get more, but I just ttried to get those interested over to the page instead. I think if you’re writing about life and family, it makes sense to share it with friends and family

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