Sometimes you get moments in life which make you wonder why they happen. Then you get angry about it, moan and have a rant (ok, maybe that’s just me). Then you spend time wondering if you’ve reverted back to school days with wondering what other people are thinking and saying.
Usually I’m on the outskirts of groups at school. I have a few friends amongst the mums who I’ll see outside school, mostly because I knew them beforehand and a few I know better through being tennis or swimming mums together. But in our year group of mums, while everyone is friendly at parties and at the school gate, there are smaller groups who get together more frequently, look after each other’s children and do dinners together.
Apart from on the blog (because I know some of school read it), I didn’t think I needed to watch what I say outside of school. But it turns out that’s not the case.
I never expected to get summoned in to see the head teacher. Even as a child, the only time I had to see the head teacher was at 6th form, where sports captains had to get their team signed off for each match.
If you’ve never been summoned into school, hope you don’t. It was a really stressful week waiting to go in because I had no idea what it was for. I thought it might have been the blog because I do mention school on here, but I know I don’t say anything incriminating and I’m fair about my thoughts and reports. Then I was questioning N about whether he’d done or said anything inappropriate even though he insisted he hadn’t. I even got mouth ulcers that week which I’ve not had for years.
It turns out, after having a bit of a moan to a couple of mums, one of them decided to inform the head of what I’d been saying. Yes, a private conversation outside school, was relayed back to school by a parent.
I couldn’t quite believe it. I mean, who thinks it’s acceptable or appropriate to pass on another person’s opinion especially when it was an out of school conversation. What I’d been moaning about, I’d already voiced my concerns and moans at parents evening. But I was astounded that
a) a mum thought it was ok to share that conversation, and
b) that the school then asked for a chat. If I’d wanted another discussion about it, I’d have done so with the teacher.
Maybe I’m too trusting.
There are always people who will share and gossip around different friendship groups where you may have mutual friends. But to an organisation, I’ve never come across that before. I just don’t understand why you would. It wasn’t enough of a moan that warranted going to talk to school again and it certainly wasn’t someone else’s job to report back to school.
I will certainly be less trusting and watch what I say in front of people I don’t know really well and trust in future.
Of course, there is good news. I know N’s information coming back from school is the truth and he hadn’t been in trouble. That’s always reassuring as a parent.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of gossiping mums or people using your conversations inappropriately? How did you deal with it?
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