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Sometimes the things your children say make you tear up and feel for them. It doesn’t happen that often despite me now being a total softie who cries really easily at films (or reading David Walliams’ children’s books. Just me?). Having a 6 year old has been the best thing ever (even better than age 5) and I’m making the most of it before N turns 7. But some of the things he says do make me go ‘awww’.
N has always been a good sleeper. Well, he goes to sleep well even if he does wake up around 6.15am. And I’ve never noticed him to have night terrors, or sleep walking. But recently he’s been talking a lot about dreams. Or more specifically unpleasant dreams.
When I go to bed, sometimes I’ve heard him talking in his sleep, but it doesn’t seem to be anything to suggest he’s worried. More like he’s having a conversation. But a couple of times he’s told me ‘I’ve been crying in dreams’. Aww, sob.
Not really what you want to hear from your child.
I tried to probe and see what he meant. Nightmares or sad dreams? Crying in the dream, or in real life? Nightmares. He’s never woken either of us during the night while having dreams so I’m presuming they’re not too bad.
N’s also a bit obsessed at the moment about crochet (I’ve taught him how to chain stitch so far. So when I showed him a granny square, he wanted to use it as a dreamcatcher. So maybe they’re happening every night? The bad dreams aren’t stopping him from going to sleep or sleeping through, and I’ve not heard him sleep talking for a long time, so hopefully the bad dreams won’t last. He can’t remember what they’re about either so there’s not much way of reassuring him.
I’ve suggested writing down what he does remember when he wakes up so hopefully that will help things calm down. I’d love to know as well, because I never remember my dreams either (apart from twice during my university finals which were both easily explained).
Names and nicknames
I love N’s name. There were only 2 boys names on my list, and while Oliver would have been fine, he would have been the 3rd in the school with that name, and have one of the most popular names in the country. As an Emma in the 1980s, I wouldn’t want that for him. So the name I chose and thankfully the OH agreed with, is a good name, outside the top 100, but not made up, no funny spellings, will fit into any situation and age, and we like the shortened form we chose too. His middle name is a classic boys name, middle name for lots of people, and the same as my brother’s.
But recently N has been moaning about his name.
First of all, he said he wanted to change his first name to Ben. I’ve no idea where that came from because he doesn’t know any Bens. Then he announced he wanted to have William as a name. No real explanation as to why he didn’t like N.
Then it came out a few weeks later that he didn’t want to be called his nicknames or have his middle name either. Granny and myself (plus school) are mostly the only people who call N by his full first name. Most others call him the short form. And a few people call him Squirrel. I’m not sure where it came from – his uncle originally, and now a few others call him that too. He’s never moaned about it before.
But he’s decided he doesn’t like any of them now. And it turns out it’s because his uncle and cousin have been calling him Jane. I presume taking his middle name and changing it.
N was really quite upset about it. He said he told them he didn’t like it, but his dad and uncle tease all of the cousins a lot, so it sounds like N’s now getting the teasing.
So I decided to give him some power back and help him think of new nicknames for them as well. Well, thinking about calling them Joanna, Willemina and Davina certainly made him laugh. I’m not sure if he’s remembered them to say back to them, but he’s made no more comments about not liking his name since. So hopefully they’re over the teasing stage and are back to calling him his proper name.
Sometimes the guys on the farm just take things too far, and forget that N’s only 6, and that kids can be sensitive about things. Coming after the anti-bullying talk at school last week, it’s not really sending the right message about listening to people when they say no.
Hopefully this wasn’t the cause of the bad dreams.
What do your children think about their nicknames?
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