Not all of us are maternal types and expects to have a baby. I was never sure and I pretty much decided that I didn’t want to have one. But then I hit 33 and decided that I would regret not trying by the time it was too late. Thankfully it turned out to be great and I was obviously more naturally maternal than I thought I ever would be, as I’ve had quite an easy ride of it.
Whether we think we’re going to be a maternal or not there’s always people to telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, and giving pregnancy advice. Sometimes it’s really helpful. Other advice is less so and can be more harmful if the parent is vulnerable or not sure about themselves. Thankfully I had some great advice both before and during pregnancy. I wanted to share the best 2 pregnancy tips I was given that I think anyone debating having a child should think about.
The great thing about pregnancy advice is that you can pick and choose what works for you. You just need to be strong enough to do so and to say no to those you don’t agree with. I think as an older mum I was much more assertive and confident in who I was and my abilities, even though I knew nothing about children. But then that’s me all over.
Here’s 2 top tips and pregnancy advice
1, Just go with it
The first was way before I decided I wanted to try for a baby. I was out with friends I was debating about how even if I decided I wanted to try for a child I wasn’t sure how I would fit it in and how much I had to give up. But my friend who had already had two children, just said you have to just go with it. Because if you keep deliberating it will never be the best time and it will never happen.
This really stuck with me especially as my friend is a bit of a worrier so it was really quite a sensible thing to say to someone who was wavering and procrastinating. And she was totally right. If you’re debating and you’re just not sure, but you think you might regret not trying something whether it’s pregnancy or anything else in life, sometimes you’d you just have to do it. And trust that things will go right. Which generally they do in some way or another.
2, Have a chilled out pregnancy
The other piece of advice wasn’t so much advice given by another person but more watching how other mums were and how their children were.
We all want to have nice chilled out babies and calm children that don’t run rings around us and do what they’re told at least most of the time. But not everyone has children like this. And some really struggle with their babies. And even children as they grow up.
Some children have issues whether it is inbuilt or learnt from their environment and people around them. But for children with no obvious developmental concerns, I took a lot from listening to what my friends who had children said, on how they were in their pregnancies and how easy labour and bringing up their babies were.
A couple of friends said they had a really hard pregnancy and that they worried a lot during it. They’re also people who are more anxious and get worried about things more easily. Then I talk to other friends who found pregnancy much easier and had much more laid-back babies and this seemed to reflect their nature as well. They’re not worries and they’re much more relaxed in their every day personality. As a naturally Type A personality I definitely didn’t want a baby or child who was going to follow my need to be in control, and always be frustrated when things didn’t go the way I wanted.
So I decided to try and chill out during my pregnancy. I was lucky because my pregnancy with N was very easy with no hassles until he decided he didn’t want to come out. But even that was without stress. My waters broke and I had to be induced but I didn’t feel any of the contractions just a slight backache, and after 13 hours on a drip they decided we had no choice but to have an unplanned C-section. Which again was very relaxed and very calm.
N was a very easy baby once he’d got the sleeping thing sorted and once we’d passed the non-existent breastfeeding that didn’t work. And he’s continue to be a fair tempered, easy going little boy. I swear this is down to trying to be more chilled out during pregnancy. I believe there’s something in it, if you’re not naturally that type of person. It certainly worth a try anyway.
Do you believe in these type of things working? What baby or pregnancy advice were you given?
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