Best friends. They’re something that lots of us have. People who others wish to have. And they can change over time.
I know I’ve had a few over the years, mostly through school years where friendships change seemingly every year. Fleetingly the girl next door, where on us moving in, we chatted through the gate. Then a girl up the road who I used to make up role play games to play in the playground with a horse named Granary and who I used to go carol singing with for charity.
Then secondary school and friendships changed, to someone I was in more classes with and played in sports teams together. Memories of sharing answers in a sponsored spelling test, being ill on giant chocolate eclairs and setting up camp in the pouring rain in Devon.
Sixth form saw a change of school and mostly a change of friendships, although a couple from secondary are good friends I still see now. Here it was more a small group of good friends, boarding together, and going through life, sport, music and lessons together.
But it’s university that’s provided my most enduring best friend up to now. Not from freshers’ week, but a final year and a random campus flat combination. The flat had three geographers, a cricket friend of one fellow geographer, and 2 additional first year students. It turned out that the cricket friend and I got on really well from our first meeting and we’ve been great friends ever since.
Contact nowadays with busy life for most people means social media. For bloggers, that’s certainly true as we’re on social media a lot. But my best friend doesn’t do social media. And as for email, that’s pretty non-existent too. Mobile phones…when it gets taken out or turned on. So we don’t speak often. Contact is the occasional call at Christmas or when we’re trying to organise a get together. Or seeing each other in person on the 2 or 3 times a year we catch up with the boys.
Our most recent birthday weekend was arranged via email, backwards and forwards, with a similar efficiency, understanding and trust of what we both like. It seems strange when we’re so close, but emails does save a lot of phone calls because we’d be on for ages chatting and probably still not arrange anything. Bear in mind we visited my friend in late Spring and we wanted to start discussing our weekend away. The only thing we arranged as I was about to walk out the door to go home, was the date we were going.
However little we talk the rest of the year, when we get together we talk a lot. About life, our boys, other friends, family, and generally what’s going on. Sometimes we’ll get a book out each and sit and read for a bit. Or take the boys out or simply watch them play. But it’s always comfortable being back chatting away. It’s never awkward.
Hopefully we’ll still be friends for life just like my mum was with her friend, my godmother until she died. Their friendship was really special and that’s an invaluable thing to have in life.
I hope that N also grows up having a great friendship. Lots of people say boys tend to have a close group of friends who all stick together. My brother does have that, but as many of them are now abroad, there’s one who is his standby, and they’ll do anything for each other. That’s what I’d like of N for the future, and being an only child he’ll certainly need good friends to rely on when he’s older.
What makes a best friend for you? How often do you speak to yours? Do you need to speak to or see each other regularly to be a best friend?