The difference in family routines
However much I set out everything for the morning the night before, it always seems like a rush. Of course that might be due to me wanting to read in bed for as long as possible now I’m back into reading, but I’m sure it’s more to do with laziness of N as well. He never wants to get himself dressed, wants to eat breakfast at home even though he gets breakfast at nursery etc.
I was thinking about the difference in morning and evening routines for the 3 of us in our family. We’re quite traditional and stereotypical in terms of who does what in our house. It wasn’t like that originally, because when I moved in there was a lodger and I refused to clean bathrooms after others, so it was agreed that the OH would do bathrooms (would be easier if everyone just cleaned up after themselves but no one else ever seems to) and bins, and I’d do vacuuming, washing, sorting dishwasher, and whatever else. 12 years down the line, we’re both slack, although I seem to now be doing what needs doing, bins and bathrooms included.
Apart from the occasional blitz that the OH does, he doesn’t do much in terms of cleaning, and he’s even got quite slack about putting things away that I would automatically do. A couple of years ago for example, I came back from a road trip away for a few days with N, to find that anything and everything that the OH classed as junk – ie mostly my stuff as he doesn’t have much stuff – was in the burning or bin pile.
Then last week, we had 3 evenings where I got back from work and nursery with N, to find the OH had blitzed the kitchen…then the utility room which I had to help with (most of it admittedly is my stuff, and N’s outdoor toys). Then I did the utility room. It’s annoying and tiring at the time, but it is lovely to have a nice clean and tidy room. The kitchen is annoying me though because the OH has put the cooking utensils in a drawer miles away from where I cook, rather than in a pot on the work surface within reach.
But back to family routines. Apart from these blitzes, the day to day to do lists at home are very different.
5am – get up, go to work
6.45am – breakfast
7am – come home, say hi, clean teeth, go back out to work
5-6.15am – go into bed with mummy, whisper in her ear ‘I need a wee’
6.20am – Persuade mummy to get breakfast ready, if she won’t, help yourself and leave fridge door open
6.30am – watch tv
7am – go and hassle mummy to get in the shower or watch tv/draw/stick stickers/cut pieces of paper up
7.45am – still refuse to get dressed/let mummy dress you
7.55am – choose toy to take to nursery
8am – go to nursery
5-6.15am – get woken by N, go downstairs to help N go to the toilet even though he’s capable of doing it himself
6.20am – get N something for breakfast, put tv on
6.30am – put some stuff into bag ready for my lunch and sort out N’s lunch (if at nursery school that day)
6.40am – go back to bed and read for 30 minutes because you can’t sleep7am – get showered, dressed, make-up and hair done
7.20am – answer questions on how long you’re going to be before going downstairs
7.25am – sort out any more breakfast that might be required, turn over tv recording
7.30am – grab your own breakfast to take to work
7.35am – try and persuade N to get dressed himself
7.40am – unload dishwasher or load washing machine or hang up washing
7.45am – get N dressed
7.50am – final nursery bag check
7.55am – call for N to get ready
8am – go to nursery
8.10am – drive to work
8.30am – breakfast at work
Nothing like a mammoth load of tasks to do in a morning. It’s run like clockwork, so anything that throws it out is a bit of a nightmare. I expect this is the same in most houses with children.
Dark (currently around 5pm) – finish work and amble over home
5.15pm – mooch, think about tea, rarely do anything about it
5.40pm – say hello
5.45pm – ask ‘what’s for tea?’
5.50pm – watch tv and get climbed on by N
6.30pm – eat tea, leave plate on work surface above the dishwasher, leave Guinness can on the side
6.50pm – watch tv, have N climb on him
7.15ish – have shower while N’s bathes, leaving N’s clothes all over the floor
7.30pm – relax
5.30pm – go home from nursery
5.45pm – go loopy
5.50pm – ask ‘What’s for tea?’ even though he’s eaten at nursery
5.55pm – go loopy, climb on his dad
6.30pm – eat a second tea, sometimes put plate in the dishwasher
6.50pm – play, climb on his dad or me
7.15ish – have a bath with Daddy
7.30pm – go to bed
5pm – leave work
5.30pm – pick up N from nursery
5.40pm – get home, unpack bag from work, tidy up after N’s coat, shoes, nursery bag, pictures
5.45pm – start something for tea
6pm – unload dishwasher and/or washing machine and/or fold washing
6.20pm – try and persuade N to read his book or do his activity sheet from nursery (usually unsuccessfully)
6.30pm – serve tea (and eat if haven’t eaten main meal at work)
6.35pm – leave tea to get cold while I get called to ‘wipe my bottom mummy’ from the toilet. Because 3 year olds won’t go for a wee before tea, they wait until 5 minutes in)
6.50pm – tidy up plates, wipe table, chase and wipe N’s face, wash up pans, load dishwasher
7pm – get N’s bag ready for nursery
7.10pm – read and sort post out
7.15pm – catch N and get him undressed for bath if he’s not sorting himself out. Tidy up his strewn clothes
7.20pm – get called back upstairs to clean N’s teeth, put him to bed and read a story
7.35pm – go downstairs and hopefully relax, until the OH keeps asking questions about ebay, people hacking into emails or any other questions that falls into his mind at that moment..
Phew, it makes me tired just thinking about everything that’s a task that I’d prefer not to have to sort out day to day. At the moment I am getting a bit of a breather making tea though, because quite often there’s spare going at the farm, so I’m not having to cook at home. That’s always a bonus.
I do find that the males in the house don’t tend to be ‘completer finishers’. I am, but even if I wasn’t, it’s surely easy enough just to put away dirty plates or clean up after yourself?
What’s the routine like in your house? Similar or more exciting? Do you more evenly share the tasks? Do you have any tips on how to get an OH to do the little obvious things that would just save that little bit of extra time?
I have no said wisdom as I am very much like you I get everything ready for the kids and do all the house stuff. If its summer he mows the lawn thats it. No dishes or laundry. He does help with the kids bath though. But I find plates and cups on the table after he has long walked away. Manville I call it. lol When you find a cure let me know. Thanks for linking to Share With Me. I hope to see you again next week. #sharewithme
I love your ‘Manville’ term. Sounds about right. Not sure we’ll ever solve it here, but I live in hope
haha! I got tired just from reading it! But I guess all of us moms have a lot on our plate! I have three girls so my schedule is pretty hectic too, we tend to divide shores but most of the responsibility falls on me! Thanks for sharing! and try to get N to wake up a little bit later!
I think it’s a losing battle getting N to wake up later. Whatever time he goes to bed, he’s always awake around then. Although as a baby would sleep til 7 all the time.
3 children would definitely need a good routine. I’m not sure I could cope with that unless they all played ball and helped out.
I do most of the stuff around the house because I work from home and my husband doesn’t. He also works away a lot. And working from home means only 3 weeks maternity leave!! Boohoo. He is fab though and does what he can when he’s here. Maybe you need a bit of a rota or something?? x
Rota won’t work because I hate cleaning so don’t want to spend every weekend doing it – although having the jobs did work when I first moved in. It’s just he’s got lazier – he’s the one that used to be houseproud and religiously making sure we cleaned regularly (probably more than it needed to be done). My issue is that apart from piles of stuff, I’m not actually the mucky one – I clean up after myself. He and N don’t – they’re the ones bringing muck off the farm, so I end up begrudging doing all the cleaning when I make less of the mess. Hopefully now the place is decluttered a bit, it’ll be easier and less hassle to do the cleaning.
Your routine seems very organised but you do seem to do the lions share of the work around the house. I have no idea how you all manage getting up so early. I could not function on any level after getting up at that time! #sharewithme
Luckily I’m a morning person (usually, not when I’m terrible at stopping blogging/internet in the evenings), so would naturally be up around 7 anyway. The theory is that I’d get up at 6 and do 30 minutes exercise each morning. I’m too lazy at the moment!
Now the challenge is for N not to sound like Daddy in a few years, I can see all my teen boys in Daddy now *fail* on the plus side my day starts a couple of hours later! #sharewithme
I dread to think. OH’s great, but he’s not really very good at being all inclusive or respectful of people being different. I’d like to think I can teach N a fair way to not expect for everyone to look after him all the time and do all the scivvying.
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