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I’ve said before that my family and friends were a little surprised when we announced we were having a baby. I’m not a baby person at all, and I stand by that even now (although at least I know what to do with children and babies now, so I can live with them, and even appreciate them more), and we’d discussed with anyone that we were trying for a baby.
But as everyone says, when you have your own child, you do feel a powerful tug on your emotions and it really makes you glad that you gave it a go. I know I’d definitely not want to go back to a time without N.
It is amazing how fast time flies by. I tried to make an effort to remember those newborn days, but it’s really hard to remember more than what I see in the few photos I took in those days. Blogging’s a great way to click back and remember those old milestones I wrote about, and I try to tell N about the little things he learnt to do and used to like.
But with children you always seem to live in the here and now, as that’s the time that they’re very much living in. N, even as he approaches 4 years old, still doesn’t really have a concept of anything further back from yesterday. He’s much better at looking forward in anticipation for the exciting activities we have planned ahead. If I ask him what he was doing at nursery 20 minutes ago, he’ll just say ‘nothing’. He’s like a 3 year old teenager!
But the one thing that I’ll never forget are the hugs he gives. He’s very free with his hugs which is brilliant, and nothing like I was as a child (and even now outside friends who are really huggy people). I used to be very staid and not want hugs at all. Even as I grew older throughout school, my mum would ask for a hug as we walked out of the door to go to school, and I’d shrink away. Luckily my brother was more willing. Even as an adult, I’d have to be cajoled into giving my mum a hug which was ridiculous given how well we got on. Looking back now, it saddens me that I wasn’t more open and willing to family with my hugs. Now my nan’s in hospital and I still struggle.
Thankfully N doesn’t seem to be afflicted with my non-hugginess, and I’m so glad for that. From the newborn snuggles when we first brought him home. He seemed small to us, but he was actually a big baby compared to peers at 9lb 5oz. It didn’t stop him curling into a ball as I held him, and me getting that blissful newborn smell. Aided by supersoft Fairy non-bio washed clothing and blankets swaddling him during the cold winter he was born in.
As he’s gone through toddling and falling into hugs with family, he’s progressed to hugs for different occasions. I don’t know if it’s his way of transferring the hugs he has when he’s tired and comforting himself holding his Peter Rabbit and his taggy blanket, but at the moment he’s very free and easy with his hugs. There’s no way as his mummy I can be jealous as I’m hoping he’ll continue being so pleased to be near people as he gets older.
He gives all types of hug. Bear hugs to his dad. Usually they’re involved in play, but he has to have a hug before his dad goes to work and before bed, if not plenty of times in between when N sees him. The OH also taught him ‘licky kisses’, but thankfully they’re mostly just a sound-effect kiss rather than a sloppy contact one!
Leg hugs and head to head hugs are also his speciality, especially for Gran and Gramps who might be sitting in their living room as he bounds in to see them.
At nursery he’ll give spontaneous hugs to the staff in his room (and probably previous staff he’s had looking after him). I love that he’s so happy being there while at work, but I’m hoping that he won’t be too shocked next year when he’s at school, when he won’t be able to be so free with his hugs in the classroom.
He and his friends also have massive hugs. Boys and girls (although he does deny that any of the girls are his friends), he’ll hug them all given half the chance.
Of course I think I get the best of all. He might be Mr Independence, wanting to get his own breakfast and make his own drinks. Going back for his final year of nursery school and starting to learn his phonics. As I drop him at nursery in the mornings, he might go wandering off to get stuck in to breakfast or play with his friends, but he’ll come back for a good bye hug. And of course on picking him up, I hear his friends shout to him ‘N, your mummy’s here’. He’ll look up and (assuming he’s not playing outside and wanting to stay), he’ll come running over shouting ‘Mummy’ to give me a cuddle.
Even once he’s at school, I hope he’ll still give the best hugs at bedtime. After storytime, he always wants three hugs, to which he says ‘ah, ah’ ah’. I’m definitely making the most of his hugs and eskimo kisses in this last year before school…and before he gets too cool to hand them out.