Some children are so obviously like one or the other of their parents, they really are ‘mini me’s’. When I was growing up people often said I was like my mum, but she and people who’d known my dad, always said I was more like him in mannerisms. Even though my colouring was more like my mum’s. (Worryingly, I now look more like her, especially sitting at the hair dressers with a towel wrapped round my head. It’s a little scary almost seeing your mum staring back at you – and probably even more scary for the OH!).
With N it’s harder to tell who he’s like. I’m not sure he’s really my mini me. Certainly not lookswise.
My sister in law is good at working our who children belong to, and can usually point out features that look like a parent. But she’s always said N’s harder to tell.
They say babies look more like their dads first of all, to help fathers bond more as the mothers usually have the closer bond given the baby’s need for milk. But then they get more like their mums over time. So many children I know are obviously like one or the other parent, and then you can see the other parent in certain expressions or speech.
Maybe it’s because N is ours, it’s harder to tell who he’s more like.
When he was a baby, my mum always used to say he had her side of the family’s mouth.
Hair and eye colouring, he’s definitely like me. Mousy brown, fine hair and green eyes. But he tans like the OH (or even my brother who’s always tanned easily).
Over the years, sometimes there’s been an expression and he’s looked exactly like one of his cousins at that point. A flash of likeness although he doesn’t look facially like any of them.
One time my brother took him to tennis and one of the mums remarked how they stood similarly. They could see how alike N was to him (they originally though my brother was the OH though – easy mistake to make as the OH never makes an appearance at tennis).
Personality wise I think N is like both of us in different ways.
He’s definitely like me in the perfectionism gene. He doesn’t like to look silly, he wants to get things right. He likes things to be fair and right, maybe too extreme in certain situations. That’s just like me too. Maybe that’s useful because I can guide him through where he has problems as he hits them.
But he’s also quite relaxed about things. A ‘take it or leave it’, can’t change things feeling. N doesn’t seem to feel much pressure even in situations like assessments. That’s like the OH who’s quite laid back about some things.
This has certainly stood N in good stead in tennis and sports before now. He’s not inherited my competitiveness, although the more confidence he has in his tennis and swimming, I can see flashes on occasion. Maybe mine was brought out by having a brother who was also competitive.
I do find it funny that his views follow mine more often than the OH’s (thankfully on Brexit). I do like that he’s interested in current affairs – he’ll sit and watch the news with the OH, and will ask questions about it. They talk about current affairs at school as well, so he’ll come out with things that he’s obviously formed an opinion on too, not just copying our views.
The one thing I’m really pleased that N takes after me on is his self-assuredness and independence. A school mum had commented at how independent N is. And how he is confident to make his own decisions rather than being led by the crowd. That was just like me as a child. And one trait that I hope he’ll keep through his tween and teenage years.
While children want to fit in and not stand out, it’s so important that they have strong opinions and aren’t afraid to say no if they don’t want to do something. Hopefully he’ll avoid negative peer pressure and stay happy through his decisions, even in hard times where he might feel like he’s going against everyone else.
So while I don’t think N looks particularly similar to either of us parents, there’s so many of mannerisms and my traits I can see in him. I’m sure the OH can see himself in him as well.
Who do you think your children are most like? Are they your mini me?