8 things you lose when you have kids
When I was still against having children, I remember a good friend saying to me that she felt having her children really changed her. She felt she was less selfish than previously which I was surprised about because she was one of the people I would say is most generous with her time and support. Her reasoning was that she was obviously looking out more for her children than thinking about herself all the time.
There’s certainly a lot of changes when you have children. I’ve found that I’ve become more relaxed – I still moan a lot, but I let a lot of things go where prior to having N I would have been a total control freak. Now I’m about 60% control freak. I do a lot less shopping. Oh and I spend a lot more time planning things and then finding I’m still forgetting them.
The main thing about having children is all the things you lose, both tangible and in spirit.
Here’s my list of things you lose when you have kids:
Children just love pens, paint and paper. Once they’re old enough to be let loose with their own pens and paper there’s no stopping them. Even if you provide a huge plastic box full of their own pens, scissors, pencils, chalks, paint, glue sticks, stickers, you’ll still find that they’ll be in your kitchen drawers looking for the good kitchen scissors, sellotape dispensers and other craft supplies they can find.
My drawer used to have a lot of biros, but where they go I have no idea. The sellotape dispenser goes walkies, then when it’s found there’s no sellotape left. At least my Sharpies so far have been safe.
2. CDs and DVDs
Once your child has worked out how to use the dvd player watch out. Your dvds will no longer be safe if they’re in a low cabinet. Thankfully only N’s own dvds have been opened up, switched into different boxes, and left all over the living room. But CDs are a different matter. I gave him my old kitchen radio/CD player, but he gets bored with the children’s CDs he has. So mine are stolen and used. Never to see their cases again.
Some children are fussy, but beware any child who likes food. The fridge door will permanently be opened, the fruit bowl contents will be eaten and peelings and cores will be left somewhere for you to find rather than put in the bin. You’ll wonder where all the food is going, and dread the teenage years!
4. Shower gel
If you want to keep your own nice shower gel to yourself that means buying kids versions. Shower gel disappears so quickly in our house, I now make sure I dispense it into N’s hands. The alternative and slightly better route is to have a squirty dispenser. This tends to use less than a simple tip upside down opening. Or buy a bar of soap.
Lots of people say it’s baby brain, others say that doesn’t exist. But in my case my memory left as soon as I’d had N. I can’t remember anything unless I have a list. I remember to do something but get distracted, then remember days later what I should have done days ago…today’s was that yesterday I was going to put name stickers in N’s new trainers. That’s now tonight’s job, if they come home from school. Six years later and my memory still hasn’t improved anywhere near what it was pre-child.
6. Free time
Children suck time away from you. You’ll have to juggle looking after children, possibly the OH as well (mine’s capability and inclination to do anything round the house has reduced since N’s arrival oddly), plus whatever you did before. Work, food, shopping, going out, hobbies…it seems that once kids arrive, not only do we look after them, but many parents take on even more whether it’s to do with volunteering, school stuff, going out and about more. That free time is no longer free, unless you find a specific me-time activity to schedule in.
Yes, for the first few years you’ll be unlikely to have any privacy. Whether it’s going to the toilet, having a shower or having ‘cuddles’ with your partner. All of them are at danger of being intruded on by little ones. Or not so little if you’ve children who like to wander at night.
I’ve never been a patient person, although I am more laid back with N than I thought I’d be. However saintly you are, you will find times as a parent when you need to have a rant and lose it. I don’t think N is too concerned…or at least he never changes his behaviour (the joys of selective hearing). Taking a big breath helps, and if you need to, leaving a room with the child safely in it, is totally under-rated.
So there’s my 8 things you lose when you have children. What would you add to the list?
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Sanity – you forgot sanity! #thelistlinky
Luckily Max is too little for me to be able to tick all of these (my stationery stash is safe for now!), but so many others ring true. I always thought I was quite a patient person, but he definitely knows how to push that right to the limit – I’d never call myself patient anymore! And I long for both privacy and free time – even just a short train ride on my own is now blissful! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
Good Lord, easily half of the CDs and DVDs that we own are out of their cases or (probably) gone forever! I second everything you mentioned! #SharingtheBlogLove
It’s a nightmare isn’t it. It’s like you need to have a library system of taking one out but not getting the next until the next is back, and keeping them locked up!
Oh yes, absolutely! Especially #5, #6, #7, #8 all the time!!! #TheList
Oh my goodness some of these have given me a little insight into my future. I remember my mum saying that my brother just used to eat and eat and nothing was safe in our house. I think Alice is going to be the same as him! I hoped that the privacy thing might get better as they got older, but still no sign of it coming!! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
My lo is only 2 so thankfully not helping himself to stuff too much yet. Thanks for the heads up tho with this post ☺️ Patience is defo up there. I was known for my patience. Now it takes a lot more effort lol
Ah, I wasn’t patient to begin with, so I’m a little more relaxed now with N. Thanks for stopping by
Haha I love that you included shower gel! Shampoo was also used quickly in our house.
I’d add time to this list – seriously, where does it go!? #SharingtheBlogLove
Definitely time. I think as we get older and see children grow up, it makes it seem like time goes past faster. Thanks for commenting, and merry christmas
I agree with all of these! Possibly the most annoying are: stationery (I have a bit of an “issue” – I LOVE stationery just a little bit too much…), lack of privacy, actually – I can’t even narrow it down. You know what I lost for a long time? Myself. I had PND and I remember laughing one day and thinking – hey, that’s me, I like to have a joke. It was a really bizarre feeling. This is such a great and honest post. I really relate. Thank you for your honesty.
Stationery is fabulous. My floors are always covered in cut up bits of paper – drives me nuts.
I think a lot of mums even without PND have to rethink themselves, it’s certainly hard to make the adjustment
Thanks for commenting and sharing, and have a good Christmas
Such a true post, the cds in the lower shelf went years back lol
oh yes patience can be a hard one to hang onto at times, especially when that missing black sharpie suddenly appears as poker dots all over the office wall lol.
Time is another that goes, where does it go?????
Awesome post! #sharingthebloglove
OMG that didn’t happen did it? We’ve had a lot of sticking things up at the moment, and colouring in carelessly on a table even after being warned no to do it.
Thanks for your comment Mackenzie. Have a great Christmas
Oh my goodness – yes, the stationery! But the question is – where do all these pens go??? Honestly, it’s like they disappear into some sort of black hole 🙂
I’m permanently buying replacements. It’s the way they see other pens as better than their whole art set!
I have no idea where my black gel pens go to. Every time I go into Wilkinsons I buy a new pack!
Ah yes, privacy and free time – I REALLY miss those…! I’d also add ‘silence’. I miss the silence of the car, the supermarket, the evening. Nowadays it’s Mummy Mummy Mummy arghhh! (of course I wouldn’t have it any other way…) #SharingTheBlogLove
Lol, you’re right about silence. Incessant conversation, singing, music and questions here.
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