I’m always amused by the discussions that N and his dad have.  They always seem very different to those I have with him.  I dread to think what they might turn out like by the time N’s older and supposedly wiser (or maybe not if his father continues to spout nonsense at him!)

N’s toilet training at his own whim, but in the mornings I do have to really encourage him to go.  He’ll quite happily stay dry all night, but after 11.5-12 hours of sleep, I’m astounded that he doesn’t wake up bursting for a wee.  This morning he refused to go with me, wanting to wait for Daddy to take him.

As I went into the shower upstairs I could hear N and his dad talking downstairs in the cloakroom.

‘On the toilet Daddy’, ‘I’m going to wee, Daddy’

‘Pull your willy away, it’s stuck’.  The joys of wearing pull ups or nappies.

‘No, you do it Daddy, I can’t’

‘I’m not touching your willy.  You do it N, just pull it away’.  A dad who doesn’t think it’s appropriate to be touching his son’s anatomy.

‘I can’t daddy, I need you to to it’

‘No, you’ll have to do it yourself otherwise you won’t be able to wee.  Push it down’, and so it went on.

I’m presuming all was fine in the end, although I’m surprised I wasn’t called down to do the task.  An amusing conversation to be hearing in the morning but one that I can see being repeated.


  1. Emma Greenwood

    Brilliant! this sounds so familiar to my house. Toilet talk is constant….

  2. Lol! The thing in our house that makes me laugh is how Daddy gets nervous talking about their ‘bits’ he doesn’t want to call them the wrong names after saying boobs in front of our eldest once whilst she kept pulling her top up he said ‘stop getting your boobs out’ of course she thought it was hilarious to then shout ‘get your boobs out mummy’ a fair few times in shops which was mortifying! They can be so funny at times!

    • lol. Guess you always have to go through the embarrassing comments in public places. Men are funny about language/terms though – mine never knows what he should be saying (apart from teaching him crass phrases on purpose!)

  3. Michelle Knopp

    The best part of having all these boys is dad gets to take them to public restrooms. My 5 year old refuses to go in the ladies room with me now. It’s hard to let him go in the big boy bathroom by himself when dad is not there, but I’m learning to let go! Cute conversation.

    • That is a bonus, not having to take them into ladies loos with you. Although my husband never comes anywhere with us, so no idea what we’ll do when he’s too old to come in with me, but too young to go into the mens on his own.
      Thanks fro commenting

    • It’s not a conversation I was expecting to hear/be part of, so not sure I’d have looked forward to it myself. But the strangest conversations are often the best!

    • Definitely the way to react. I shall be continuing in that vein where possible

    • There’s things like this that would definitely be better having a girl, but I can foresee lots of others where I think a boy might be easier.

  4. cococute

    Imagining your story makes me think how sweet the scene is for those two buddies. (This is already my second comment I am not sure the first went through if it did pls delete this)

    • Definitely there’s some instances that you just want to say ‘ahh’ to.

  5. Wow! Did he change nappies when N was a baby?! x

    • Pah ha. Nope. I think in 3 years, he’s changed 3 soiled nappies, and probably not much more wet. He does go in with rubber gloves, and probably a mask if he had the chance! Or he just phones his mum to come and do it if I’m not in!

    • Definitely amusing and sweet conversations. His non-training’s been going on since last October, morning and evening has been cracked and he’s dry at night. It’s days that are the issue and he refuses to use the potty or toilet. Driving me mad when he knows what he’s meant to do.

    • You just never know what they’re going to come out with. Surprises me every time he opens his mouth at the moment!

  6. Aisha Kristine Chong

    Kids are funny which makes them interesting haha!

    • Oh yes, bring out the embarrassing photos and quotes for wedding day and 21st birthday parties

    • Thanks. He does come out with some classic things, but then you hear yourself replying and wonder how it’s come to that!

  7. Michelle Murray

    Kids really do make me laugh they say the funniest things lol

    • They are particularly amusing. I’ve got some more classics coming up as well. Can’t beat children’s conversations for eavesdropping

    • Oh yes, the turn 3 and non stop talking. I did a post on that a few days ago.

  8. kungphoo

    hahaha i remember having some conversations like that with my son.. It is all good in the end.

    • Yep, it doesn’t take them long to get the hang of things themselves (no pun intended!)

  9. hahaha! Did you ever think you’d have this or hear this conversation 10 years ago? lol

    • We almost had similar this morning as well, but he obviously dealt with it himself as I didn’t hear any commentary.

  10. Hahahaha oh that’s really funny. My hubby actually used to shout down for me to go help him with little z. I preferred to just ignore him and giggle 🙂

    • I think i only got away with it because I was in the shower. I think we’d have got a lot further with toilet training if his dad would let N in the bathroom with him while he went to the loo.

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