Why we should be giving children more credit

Do you give your child enough credit for what they do? Sometimes I think we forget about the things that they can do or actually do. We can take them a bit for granted. (Although I think it’s fair to say, children take their parents more for granted – anyone else have children who ‘joke’ that mummy is their slave?).

The time I really notice how much N can do is when we’re out and about. He’s really good driving vehicles having been doing that on farm from early on, from his toy gator, to bike, to quad bike and more. It doesn’t seem so amazing when you see him at home, but put him in go karts at country shows or trying out Firefly cars next to older children, and you notice that compared to peers, he knows what he’s doing.

His physical ability on playground agility equipment is good, although not amazing. He’s not a risk taker, but it’s noticeable how much he progresses from one time to another visit.

When we’re out with the OH on those rare occasions, it’s also evident how much of his ability and development I take for granted. The OH rarely sees him off the farm, and isn’t aware of what N can do quite easily. Things that I think are obvious, like stopping at roads, or being able to walk ahead and trust that he’s aware of what’s going on around him. I think the OH still thinks he’s 3 years old, but it’s when I remember that N can do a lot more without me even thinking about it.

Then there’s school. N is never going to be a high flyer. He’s a plodder, the type who is largely diligent, he wants to please people in authority, and doesn’t want to get things wrong. He’s not that focused at home where there are distractions around him, but by all accounts at school he works hard.

Even if there’s things he’s not really keen on, he’ll give them a go at school. He gets frustrated when other children muck around or don’t listen in clubs or class. I do think his want to do well and do things correctly, is him not wanting to show himself up and look silly in front of others. I get that totally.

While N is forgetful – sometimes he’ll come home on Fridays with 3 jumpers from earlier in the week – in 3 years of school, I don’t think we’ve ever lost an item permanently (well, maybe a recorder music booklet disappeared at school – odd given it had his name in).

But the thing he is noticeably good at, which I’m very relieved about, is telling me what’s been going on at school, and how things are going. If I’ve not yet seen the school newsletter, he’ll usually be able to tell me any important reminders for the next day. He’ll often have details of things that other children haven’t mentioned in general to their parents. He loves to spend bedtime chatting about his day and finding out about mine. And it’s a really valuable time as well as useful.

So when we’re moaning about how messy they are, how they don’t tidy up, how stuff doesn’t get put in the dishwasher and more, we should remember more of the positive things. And really give them encouragement and credit for those things that make up our children

Do you think you appreciate all that your children can do and are like?