I recently saw a thread on twitter from someone who was pregnant and wanted to know why people only ever warned her about how hard it was being a mum. All the bad things were shared, rather than the positives. This is like most things in life – you only really hear about the bad things because people are more vocal about those. Whereas there’s actually a lot of good goes on.
When I was pregnant I found the same although at least I did get some positives as well. But it got me thinking about all the great things about being parents and having children
For me, there’s probably more positives than negatives. After all, it’s pretty amazing to think that two people have created another human being. And even if you don’t have a saintly child (because who does), it’s still a pretty great experience to go through and enjoy.
For most of my life I didn’t even think I wanted to have children, but I’m so pleased I had the realisation that I’d probably feel like I’d missed out if we didn’t try. So thanks to N for giving us that experience and some of the best things in life over the last 11 years.
Best things about being a mum
Seeing their personalities develop.
Watching them grow up through the stages.
How you can learn from your children.
Re-seeing the world through their eyes.
Sometimes it just feels right. Everything’s slotted into place in the family and it all just works.
Pride in seeing your child achieve different things, from big to small.
The little comments they make about what they like about you. The compliments – I get these from my son, which the OH would never dream of saying. The little boosts which are nice to hear because you know they’re just stating facts rather than saying them because you want them to.
The little chats and the random big conversations. The topics that appear from nowhere, make you think, make you feel like you know so much. It’s interesting seeing them absorb information like a sponge.
Seeing them master the things you’ve taught them over the years.
Unconditional love for them and from them.
Being able to relive the best things about your childhood and rehash memories with your children. While you could do this without children of your own, it’s rare that you do.
Holding their little hand in yours and knowing you give them comfort and protection.
Dancing around the kitchen doing the tango and silly dance moves.
Tthe ability they have of always having laughter close at hand.
Having children makes you more patient and calm. I’m generally much more laid back than i was pre-children. I can now let things go more easily.
They provide a connection to other younger people who give a different perspective and understanding of life and friendships.
You see other family traits in them, sometimes of family members you might have lost.
Children teach you to be in the moment
The incessant questions phase, they make you think more about life
Hearing them sing and make up their own songs/words
Their generosity. Not many people would share their snacks and food, but I can ask, and I don’t think he’s ever said no.
How everything is a learning experience for them.
Broadening your knowledge in what you might have forgotten at school and provide you with alternative ways to look at things. I know so much more about history having N (Horrible Histories facts galore, and even though I studied World War 2 at secondary school, I still think N has taught me more from his topic work)..
Hearing them talk with such confidence about themselves – their size, strength, how clever they are, all without irony. Maybe more adults need to have children’s self confidence.
The letters and poems they write.
When they say I love you.
The funny mispronounciations.
Seeing yourself in them. Your own mini me. But usually only the best bits. (I’m still pleased years later that N ended up with my green eyes).
Know that you can help them navigate through their childhood. And that what you went through shaped the way you parent.
It’s not really as hard as you think it’s going to be, being a parent. Thankfully to date, it’s been quite easy in terms of bringing N up. What’s harder is readjusting to the change in relationship, and how you change in becoming a mother. Because no one can go through it and not change. And if you want to manage going back to work, childcare and everything else, that can be a challenge. But it’s all worth it, otherwise none of us would do it. Lots of people more than once!
There’s some pretty good things about being a mum and having children.
What’s your best thing about being a paren?