Children certainly keep you on your toes. I should have expected that really. All of last year I moaned that I never saw N at weekends. That he always wanted to be out on the farm. And often we’d have tears if I suggested he should be coming out somewhere with me because he wanted to stay behind. But since the Christmas holidays, that seems to have changed. He’s turned into a home body.
Last year, it felt like he didn’t want to be with me at weekends. It was like the farm had a magnetic pull on him and I couldn’t persuade him away. When you don’t see your child most of the week because he’s at school and you’re at work, and then at weekends he doesn’t even want to spend time with you, it’s crushing.
Even though you know it’s just life and him growing up.
Even though you know he loves being on the farm so much.
Even though it’s a learning experience for him.
It still hurts, when all you want to do is spend a bit of time together. Get him off the farm and learning that there’s more to life. That being on the farm all the time isn’t normal. Teaching him that normal is something different and that in future he may need to conform more to the normal normal of weekends if he wants to have a healthy family relationship.
And when it’s not that he wants to spend time with your or his dad. He’s actually turning down time with you to go out all morning with his uncle or have breaktime at his aunt’s house. Sometimes you just want to put your foot down and say no.
In the past I’ve assumed at weekends, he’ll have one day out on the farm and one out somewhere with me. But that’s not always happened. Plus Saturdays are often a short day to do anything because of swimming lessons and a need to do food shopping if I’ve not been able to go one lunchtime. Usually when we go out, we have to be back by 3 so I can start making tea. Because annoyingly, even though we might have been out and eaten our main meal, I still need to make sure there’s decent food for the OH when he gets in.
But since the school broke up for Christmas, things have been different. Instead of N wanting to always be out on the farm, he’s been staying in and hanging out at home. Mostly in the house, but sometimes he’ll say he’s going outside – just to potter around the back garden, or when it was snowing, to play in the snow all day. But always staying close to home.
It was lovely to have him nearby more often. Although it did mean I had 3-4 less days to actually do things I’d planned to do over Christmas on the blog, given I’d presumed he’d be out leaving me alone. Instead, we played games (a lot of Guess Who), watched films, went on a few spontaneous days out like Think Tank Birmingham, and to the park. Just enjoying each other’s company and for me seeing how grown up he is getting as he approaches his 7th birthday.
This hasn’t changed now they’re back at school. The last couple of weekends, he’s gone out for maybe an hour, and then has gone over and had breaktime with the men. But then he’s back in the house again. It’s strange adapting, and it’ll probably change again over half term when he’ll have to have a couple of days with the OH on the farm while I’m working. I’m currently trying to make sure he doesn’t spend all his time indoors watching tv or youtube. And trying to also do all the blogging and house things I need to do when I’m at home.
Do you have children who prefer the indoors, or do they love to be outside as much as possible?