Sometimes children do come out with random things out of the blue.
One evening as he was getting ready for his shower and bed, he just said ‘I want to see Grandma’.
I started a little, because my mum died nearly 2 years ago. ‘We can’t see her sweetie, she died remember’.
‘But I want to see her’.
‘Well, we can get some photos out, but she died, and isn’t around us anymore for us to see her in real life’.
‘Not photos, real Grandma’.
I had no idea what had prompted it, and usually he remembers and is the one saying to everyone ‘Grandma died’.
So I had to explain that she died in the hospice, and that meant she wasn’t on earth any more because she was cremated. We can remember her in our head and memories, and look at photos, but there’s no body to look at.
‘Where’s her body?’ Uh oh. Why do children keep asking more.
‘She was cremated. That means when you die, your body is burnt in a special fire. It burns a body so there’s ashes left. Like ashes that come out from our wood burner. Then the family can sprinkle the ashes where they or the person who died wanted.’
‘Oh. Grampy has fires on the farm’ Not quite the same, I hope! ‘Where did Grandma’s ashes go?’
‘In the pretty garden of rest at the crematorium, because that’s where she wanted to be sprinkled’. Quiet, and deep in thought.
‘Can we go one day and see her?’. It’s not really the things that our family would do because we don’t feel the need to but I suppose we might have to if N wants to.
Thankfully, that was the end of the conversation. Once I’d told him that, he was happy and then went off to play. Nothing’s been mentioned since so I’m thinking we might get off the topic of death for a while.
What’s your children’s favourite topic of conversation at the moment?
I’m linking to Brilliant Blog Posts