Opinion on weddings and babies

Weddings and babies are always a sensitive topic.  Some people would never want babies (or children) at their weddings, others love a hoard of them running around.  But whatever the decision of the bride & groom, there’s always a parent who struggles with the concept.

For our wedding (pre children and at that stage I was pretty much ‘not a child person’) I was adament I wanted no children there…the only ones allowed were our 3 young nephews, as obviously all possible babysitters would be there, plus we knew their parents wouldn’t allow them to run riot and terrorise everyone, wrecking the enjoyment of the wedding for us and the other guests.

However it was the evening guests who’d been obviously invited without children who took issue with it.  One couple wrote saying they couldn’t come signing the reply with their toddler’s name on the bottom (presumably if they’d be able to come, they’d have turned up with her in tow).  Another couple didn’t even reply but turned up with their 7 year old.  I’m still astounded these years later by the cheek of some people and can’t understand why they don’t realise that it’s the bride & groom’s day and it’s their choice who they invite not the guests.

We went to a wonderful wedding yesterday.  It was a very traditional, english country wedding, and as they have about 14 nieces/nephews between them, they wanted to include children in the invites.  They had a separate children’s table with colouring in sheets & a foam aeroplane each (remember them from your childhood?!), highchairs for the babies, and a separate mini marquee with toys in for them to play in.  It was lovely to see them all enjoying it, but there was one toddler seriously not happy in the church and then during the drinks back at the reception – major stress for the parents, one of whom had to take him out of the church and so miss the important vows and service, and then there’s the stress for parents when they have to spend all the time looking after their babies/toddlers, sorting out their food, checking they’re not misbehaving, and finding somewhere for them to sleep during the music/festivities.

We chose not to take N.   It would have been nice to have him with us in the day, but the wedding was too far away for us to take him home after and return for the evening, so we made the decision not to take him.  As far as I’m concerned evening receptions are for adults not the children and I’d have been worrying about him not being able to sleep and then disturbing everything and us not enjoying it.  Instead he had a lovely day with Granny & Gramps and we had a lovely day at our friends wedding.

We also have a wedding in October to go to.  For that one, N wasn’t on the invite, so they’re obviously going for no children (apart from maybe family).  Doesn’t bother me one bit as it’s their choice, and we’ll enjoy it without the stress of worrying about him getting bored/ratty.

Maybe those parents who get offended if their child isn’t invited to a wedding, need to remember whose wedding it is and who has paid for it.  Ok, so we’re lucky in that we have family & friends nearby who can usually be called on for babysitting duty, but if we didn’t and we didn’t get invited as a family to an event, we’d have to decline or only one of us go.  I’d never dream to asking if I could bring baby along too, or even worse – just turning up with them, without replying in the first place.