The 10 positions of sleeping children

We all know and appreciate how angelic children look when they’re asleep.  It can definitely be deceptive with even little monkeys looking like butter wouldn’t melt while they’re sleeping.

It’s another story when you go up to bed and find the child has crept out of their room, and made themselves comfortable in your bed.  Or even when you wake up in the night to find them alongside you.

There’s been plenty of articles which share the various sleeping positions of couples, and what they might mean for a relationship, but what about the sleeping positions of children?  Here’s my take on them.

The 10 positions of sleeping children

1. The ‘Don’t Shoot’

The don’t shoot is self-explanatory.  Whether they’re dreaming or not, the child must be guilty of something and professing their innocence in sleep.  Which is much more likely than in real life where anything naughty is done by ‘Not Me’.

2. The ‘foetal curl’

Either cold or wanting comfort.  This position harks back to their time in the womb indicating they want or need protection.

3. The ‘starfish’

The bane of any parent’s sleeping life.  The child is taking over the bed, this can be a sign that they rule the house ahead of the parents.

4. The ‘prayer’

Designed to trick the parent into thinking the child is a little angel but actually signifying that they’re hiding something.

5. The ‘twist and turn’

It always astounds how fidgety children are in sleep.  I know I go to bed facing one way, and although I might end up facing the other side, the bedcovers are still relatively neat and tidy.  With children they can end up horizontally, upside down, tangled up, any direction other than the one they started in.

6. The ‘high kick’ or ‘jive talker’

This one isn’t as troublesome if they’re in their own bed, but if they’ve ended up in bed with the parents, you can bet that there’ll be a high kicking leg or pointing arm jabbing into mum or dad’s side.

7. The ‘fallen’

Self-explanatory.  Who needs a bed anyway?  Best achieved from a low toddler bed rather than a mid or high sleeper.  Mostly done by toddlers who’ve only just moved out of a cot and into a bed.

8. The ‘faceplant’

Often done by babies, in particular on knees and face with bottom in the air.  This is down to the child being so lazy they just stay where they’re put and can’t be bothered to move.

9. The ‘snuggle’

This position includes as many duvet or pillows as possible.  Most of the child is unseen within their nest.  Either it’s extremely cold, the child is a bed linen hogger, or they want comfort and protection.

10. The ‘anywhere you drop’

Similar to the ‘faceplant’, this is the sleep anywhere solution.  Often in cars, but also seen on the playmat in the middle of baby cafe whilst other children play around them, on a jumperoo, under a baby gym, sitting up in chairs or on sofas.  Also seen on the spare seat of a tractor with head drooping.  This is simply a tired child, falling where they need to, and usually nothing will wake them until they’re ready.  In the case of the tractor head droop, this could be due to boredom from repeated driving up and down the same field for hours.

Despite all the sleeping positions, they do still look cute however much they hog any bed they get into.

Do your children take on any of these poses, or do they have additional ones?

*There’s no evidence that any of these reasons are actually true.